Dating is not easy, and yet so many people think it is. I myself am included in this percentage. Or at least I was. Unlike so many others, I am capable of learning from my mistakes and trying not to repeat them. Whereas so many people today are making the same errors over and over again.

Here are some things I've noticed:

1. Communication is EXTREMELY important. I have found myself in this predicament quite a few times. I've made choices based on the way a person looks rather than their social habits and the way they held a conversation. Sometimes phone conversations would consist of, "Are you here yet?" "No." "Call me when you're here. Bye."

Then when I arrived we would sit in front of the tv like bumps on a log without speaking more than six words the entire time. I'm not trying to point out one person in particular, because it happened more than once.

That was it. Never once was I asked how I was doing or how my day at work went. And on those rare occasions that I was asked, I got a mere three words out before I was interrupted or they completely lost interest in what I was saying.

If I can't have an intellectual conversation with you about politics or religion or education then you might as well not even waste your time.

2. Looks aren't everything. Sure, looks do play an important role in things, because who wants to be with someone that they are not physically attracted to? But there is more to it than just that. I've allowed myself to be interested in people that are nothing more than just a pretty face. There is no depth to them. It's like kissing a brick wall. It's a waste of time.

I'm not interested in dating a robot with no feelings. I need someone that has flaws and stories to tell and a hearty laugh that makes me smile just hearing it. I need those cheesy things in my life. I need someone that I can completely be myself around and not always feel like I have to dress to impress. I want to wear glasses and sweatpants and still be sexy. It's the things on the inside that make a person more beautiful on the outside.

3. There is more to do than just sit around participating in sexual activities. In today's society sex has become the forefront of every relationship. Instead of establishing an emotional and mental connection people focus on creating a physical chemistry. These feelings only last for so long, and shortly thereafter your relationship has fizzled because all you created was a sexual relationship and nothing more. When you have made more than just a physical connection with someone then there will be more things about your significant other that you will find attractive aside from their looks and the physical chemistry will continue to grow.

As a couple, you are supposed to grow together. So many times these days people will get into a relationship, find out some minor flaw and break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. One fight and it's over. If you let something stupid end your relationship, you obviously never cared about that person to begin with and were just looking for an excuse to break up. Which brings me to another point, don't date someone after knowing them for a few days! It's bound to end in disaster. Get to know each other first, find out what you have in common. FRIENDS FIRST. Before you date someone, make sure you are successful friends, because if you are successful friends, then you have a better chance at being successful lovers.

Find activities that you both enjoy participating in. If you are athletic and enjoy being outdoors, don't date someone whose skin has never seen the sun and spends their day playing video games in their bedroom. Find someone that will go do these things with you!

I enjoy playing tennis, rollerblading, and hiking but at the same time I love grabbing a bowl of popcorn and having movie nights in my basement. The person I date will have to do these things with me. Even if they don't like them or want to. Like, you must come watch me play a tennis match. Because part of being in a relationship is making sacrifices. I will not date someone that refuses to go rollerblading. haha. It is now a REQUIREMENT. Maybe that's something more people should do. Set requirements for who they date. Because there are too many people that are just so desperate to be in a relationship they will date anyone or anything that comes their way. Then you just end up looking easy.

4. Have pride. In order to maintain a successful and healthy relationship you need to date someone that you are proud of. Someone that you would have no problem bringing home to mom and dad. There's no use in dating someone that you are ashamed of. What kind of life is that to live where you have to hide your relationship because your boyfriend/girlfriend does something that embarrasses you?

I don't like smokers, drug users, or people that drink too much. That's my personal opinion. I would not feel comfortable bringing someone home to meet my mother and then having them get up in the middle of a conversation for a smoke break. Or inviting them to a family get together and have them get wasted beyond belief and make a complete ass out of themselves and me.

Another thing that bothers me is promiscuous behavior. Why would I be proud that I am dating someone that has been around the block and back? If you can't respect yourself or your body enough to control what you do, then I can't respect you. Sure, you are just "having fun", but having fun has its limitations. Once you cross that border between having fun and being a whore, there is no turning back. I will not date someone that cannot control their sexuality. Plain and simple.


So what I'm saying is, before you jump into a relationship, make sure you know what you're doing and that the person you are entering into a relationship with is really someone you can see yourself with for the long run. Stop being stupid, stop being cowards. Have standards and enforce them. You deserve the best, and don't you dare ever tell yourself you don't =D